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I was only a boy of 4, collecting rents and making small loans to other kids on the street, candy today, pay tomorrow, low interest rates, you know how it is...when the Germans came. The grabbed me made me march for days to Buchenwald Concentration camp.  I had to pull a cart of Jews too old to walk, by myself 300 kilometers, the Germans said “Schneller Jude! Noch Schneller! Then I escaped! I was free like a flock of seagulls, and I ran, I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day. Couldn't get away. They caught me outside of Berlin, offering reverse mortgages to other jews, 10 pfennig on the RM is a better price than your going to get from anybody those days, be reasonable! I have overhead and expenses! So to Tribunal I went, pulling a Tiger Tank that had a flat. They tried to gas me but I held my breath, and when the loaded me onto the cart to go to the oven, I made a dash for it! I was able to run through Siberia, swimming over the ice in the Bering Straits with the help of a polar bear, and then into Alaska, where I made low interest loans for snowmobiles and became very successful. I survived!  
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This woman sued Matt Lauer and so he released the text messages nd she was taking it in the ass. Matt Lauer luvs him some assfukin".
Look at that face...Oy Vey!
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Sheeiit I wuz surviving dem holacos..

I fohw year old juz a nappy headed nigga on deh corner sellin dem onsies and shinin dem shoes kno wut im sayin, cash munny G, getting paid know whut Im sayin? Den dem Germans came. Deh said : Neger, du erscheinst nur vier jahr alt! Was für eine Schlampe hast du für eine Mutter? Du komst mit uns Affechen.!  And deh tuk me tuh dis place wit a tire swing and a cave and threw sum bananas at me. I axed where I wuz, and I wus at sum Nahtzee camp called Berlin Tiergarten. Sheeit. I was able to sneak out when they brought in some hairy brutha, and I ran, I ran so far away, I just ran, I ran all night and day, couldnt get away! The caught me selling my 78rpm phonograph of muh hottest rappin' on the same street corner. But then they just sent me to Afrika. I became a developer of mud huts, buying up all the sticks, cornering the market for cow dung, until I was nigga rich. I survived! 
what tf is this thread

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i just shit my pants. 

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